Second Intermission
by Kaledena
Summary: When I singer living in NYC finds Erik in a cornerstore she agrees to help him find a job. Clearly she receives much more than she bargened for esspecially when he agrees to help her in return.
1. Second Intermission

**Welcome everyone! This is going to be an odd story. Ever chapter is a different song. Every song has a different meaning. By the way, the tense will be changing a lot, and it's not just a flaw. I'm writing it like that. And with each meaning, we learn something new. I don't own any of these characters, besides those I make up. Enjoy!**

Chapter 1:

_Second Intermission_

_Anticipation_

"You ready for this Claire?" The voice pounded through my skull, and all I could do was nod at the unwanted intrusion of my thoughts. Kimmy stood next to me, and I barely felt her hand on my shoulder. We'd been friends since we were younger. It had always just been the two of us.

"Never." I manage a smile at her.

_You know the third act_

_Small talk drops out of the play_

We're pushed onto stage as the curtain opens. We're like mice, looking for the cheese in the audience's applause. There's no audience. This is just rehearsal. The musical is in a month and a half, and no one knows where they we're running around to yet. I'm just happy I'm in this year.

I guess I shouldn't be complaining.

Rehearsal is over within another hour.

_You're standing in the lobby_

_Tightening your tourniquet_

My blue car isn't working again. So much for the campus blocking most of the wind. I have to walk. I'll be graduating next year and I'll be 'out in the real world'. Ha. I've already tried that. I spent five years out of high school finding my place in the world. As I've noticed, that didn't work so hot. I traveled a lot in that time, however. I visited Africa and Europe and Russia. I even visited Vatican City, where the architecture was amazing.

Still, out of seeing the world I realized how much I needed an education. I saw little girls starving as they were clinging to their starving mothers. I saw prostitution in all of its horror.

That made me about twenty-seven by only a few weeks. Almost thirty. My dream was almost over. After all, one can only act for so long until they become too old for the leads. My goal: Christine in the Phantom of the Opera.

_Waiting for it_

_And the bell sounds_

In my mind the lights fall on top of me in bliss. I'm standing center stage, maybe a little down as well. All eyes are on me as I take my first breath and plunge into my song. The air passes through my vocal chords without effort and I'm stunning as I startle the audience with my voice. It's crisp and light, and no effort goes into it from my body. A yawn-like deep breath from my diaphragm. Another note floats out.

_And the lights flash _

_All the chaos from before stepping onto the stage is gone._

_And there's all these questions milling around_

_And there's no time to ask_

I come out of my dreams as the wind rips through my scarf and hat. It blusters into my face and I have to push my head down to walk forward. The wind is screeching and I can't hear a thing.

My apartment is half a mile from the campus, and it takes me half an hour to walk in the wind. I live in a red brick building by myself. I guess I could've lived with Kimmy, but she already has roommates who don't like me. Besides, I didn't want to inconvenience her.

My key doesn't work the first two times I try, and then the door is stuck. I push at it for a moment until one of my neighbors comes by and pushes it open for me. I thank him but he waves his arm and says it was all right before crossing the hall and opening his door in much the same fashion.

There's leftover Pasta-Roni in my fridge so I microwave it and that's my dinner. It takes a minute to reheat and I spend the rest of the night watching sappy movies and going over my script. My next class isn't for two days, so I will be at a loss. Perhaps I'll paint something in my makeshift painting room.

The next morning I wake up on the couch around nine. I decide to put my plan to action, and I set up my paints. When I open the case for my brushes I can't help but gaining a smile from ear to ear.

I'm in the mood to paint, and the painting is uncovered as my hand moves over canvas. It's my last canvas; I'll need to save up to get more. The painting is shadows and I can't distinguish anything yet. I fill the canvas with a base coat of darker colors, the lightest color being a dark brown. I'm not sure where I want to go, so I put everything away. The painting is set to dry in the sun. I look out the window and I see that it's a beautiful day out. I open the curtains around the apartment, letting my home bask in its warmth.

There are a few clouds and the shadows from them pass over my apartment floor.

My white cat rounds the corner and meows when she sees me. Her brown ears perk up a little more than usual and I smile at her. "Hey Star." I say affectionately as I rub behind her ears. "Where've you snuck off to?" I asked, as she purrs at me. I pick her up and sit back on the couch. We're both content sitting in each other's emotions.

_No bliss for the little miss leading_

_Cuz she's learning about bleeding_

Star becomes impatient after a few minutes and she jumps from my embrace. She heads toward a can of tuna I left out for her. I smile as she examines it.

"I know, I know." I muttered happily, "Food is much more interesting than I am."

As if telling me this was true, the cat starts digging in.

I spend the day reading, studying my music, and painting. Finally I become hungry and I'm in the mood for brownies. I shuffle around in my kitchen and realize I'm one short of the proper amount of eggs. I sigh.

"Star," I say impatiently, while putting my winter clothes on, "I'll be back. Mommy needs to go to the store." I stuff the scarf around my neck and open the door. The cat walks away and I laugh at her. "How do you think you eat?"

I shuffled out the door and slammed it closed behind me. After locking it up I head out of the red brick building to face the winds of winter once again. I walk in much the same fashion as the day before, my head digging into my chest.

The store is a block away from my apartment, and although the prices are raised, I don't want to walk any farther. I just wanted my brownies. It takes five minutes for me to walk there, and while I'm searching for the best priced eggs a man comes into the store. He's dark, and he wore a white mask over his face. His black hair is messed up, and it looks like he shot someone or something. He looks as if he's never seen a store before. I shrug, I've seen weirder, and continue my hunt for the right eggs. I pick the best eggs I can find and then search the shelves for something else. I get in line. The weirdo is in front of me.

He's asking the man at the counter where he is. I bud in.

"New York." I say, annoyed. "Are you buying anything?"

"New York?" He asked, stunned. I sigh. He's obviously a tourist.

"Look at the ticket." I said impatiently. The man turned around a stared at me for a moment. I noticed there were no items in his hand so I pushed past him and set my groceries on the counter. The man behind the counter glanced at the creepy man wearily and then began to ring up my things.

"I'm not in New York." He told me stubbornly. I looked at him carefully. The mask covered his entire face, so I had no idea how he looked. His presence made him seem like his eyebrows were knit together in thought. From his body, he looked to be about thirty-five?

"Whatever." I muttered, taking my bag from the cashier. He looks at the man awkwardly. I give him my $5.34. I get away as fast as I can. The bell on the door announces my exit like in a play…

_But what is love if not exquisite_

_Our only saving grace_

_Or is it?_

I hear the bell ring again as I walk toward my apartment… maybe if I can get there before he bothers me…

I try not to look but I peek a glance. He's standing in awe at the large buildings surrounding us. 'You need help.' I think in my own thoughts.

He catches up. "What time is it?"

I sigh and stop. I turn and raise an eyebrow at him. I stretch up my arm to pull my watch into view and I read the time. "Two." I say, and continue walking.

"No." He tries to make me understand. "What year?"

I continue walking this time but I'll humor him for a few minutes. "That's not a very good way to get a girl's phone number." I say, struggling to pull my sleeve down again as to keep the cool air off my skin.

"What?" He asked, keeping up with me impatiently.

"2005." I answer him as I look around for my keys.

"What?" He asked, his expression of pure surprise.

_And somewhere in your iris_

_Blooms the reflection of my surprise_

I look at him and I am caught by his eyes for only a moment. There is no color behind them.

"You need help." I told him straightforward, as I turned to open the door to my apartment. I opened into the house and began up the stairs. He was following me up the stairs in the red brick place. I continued on, and ended up in front of my door. The door unlocked the first time by pure chance but it was still stuck. I put my groceries on the floor, out of the way. I begin to push on the door, but it doesn't budge. A neighbor walks by that I never liked. His foot crumbles my eggs.

"Hey!" I said harshly, as he continued on.

"Yeah?" He asked, smirking at me.

"You're going to pay for those." I told him steadily.

He laughed and continued walking. I gave away a tired breath and pushed opened my door.

"You'll say sorry to her, monsieur." A French accent said in the hallway. I looked back out. It was the wacko. I didn't realize he was French. I was too preoccupied with the thought of my brownies.

"And who are you, her new boyfriend?" The neighbor snaps, laughing at this lunatic, who was half the man's structure. I shook my head, knowing I'd at least have to clean up the man for trying to stick up for me. I was like that, no matter how crazy he was.

The man seemed confused with that statement.

"Are you implying that I'm courting her?" He asked skeptically.

"I'm _implying_ that you move your ass out of my way." The neighbor threatened.

He was out cold on the floor before my eyes, and it was so fast I couldn't tell you how it happened.

Wacko checked for the man's pulse and stood up, as if he was unfolding himself like a shirt. I stared at him in amazement before coming to my sense.

"You didn't have to, you know." I answered, picking up some of the mess in the hallway. He walked over without a sound and pickup the part I couldn't carry. I looked at him, and he stared back at me.

He simply nodded.

_As you stroll past every last do not enter_

_And touch me at my epicenter_

I couldn't help but smile a slightly crooked smile. I opened the door. "You can come in, if you want." I said, although my own mind was yelling at me to never invite a stranger in. After all, if he did that to my neighbor, what could he do to me?

His body took on the effects of shock, but after a second he walked in, taking the trash from my hands on the way there. I didn't let him take the trash, and I closed the door and locked it.

_And the bell sounds_

_And the lights flash_

_And there's all these questions milling around_

_And there's no time to ask_

I walked into the kitchen and threw out the broken eggs. There were three eggs that weren't crushed. I smiled, "Do you like brownies?"

He walked in behind me, keeping his distance. "Excuse me, mademoiselle?" He asked, warily looking around the kitchen. Star found her way over to this man and began rubbing herself around his legs. The man gave a hint of amusement and he leaned down to scratch her around her ears.

"You're lucky." I said, stopping from looking all around the kitchen for things to make the brownies.

He stopped touching her and looked at me as if he wasn't supposed to touch Star. I looked at Star affectionately. "She doesn't usually like people." I looked up to the strange man and smiled again. "What's your name, anyway?"

"I am Erik." He said, looking as stiff as he sounded.

"It's nice to meet you." I said, turning back to the cupboards. I moved aside some cereal, looking for my flour. It was lost.

"It's also a pleasure, Mademoiselle." I smiled at his way of speaking. I have never been called Mademoiselle before.

_I'm always trying to get there_

_I never really get there_

"I'm Claire." I said quickly, making a happy face when I saw my flour.

"Are you French, Claire?" he asked.

"Half." I answered, juggling the eggs and a mixing bowl.

_To that quiet place where_

_I accept myself_

"And I take it from your accent that you're from France." I said, cracking an egg on the side of the mixing bowl. The yoke fell out into the pan in a syrupy way.

"Oui." He answered with a single word. I hate that.

"Where in France?"

He seemed to think about it for a few moments, as if he didn't know if he should tell me. I certainly attracted the weird ones.

"Paris."

"Oh, I've never been there before." I said, smiling sadly. "I've always…"

I trailed off, knowing what I was thinking was stupid.

_Inside I'm deep inside some high school_

_Locker room no clothing_

_Popping the zits of my self loathing_

"Always, Mademoiselle?" His voice pushed into my thoughts.

"Oh, never mind." I forced out. "It's not important."

He nodded in understanding and Star rubbed against him again, anxious for his attention.

_Under the florescent lights_

_And the bell sounds_

_And the lights flash and there's all these questions milling around_

_And there's no time to ask_

"Do you know how to make brownies?" I asked, smiling at him.

He shook his head, no.

"Do you want to learn?" I asked, sounding stupid even to myself.

"I don't eat much, Mademoiselle." He admitted, still looking uncomfortable.

_Second Intermission_

_Anticipation_

"Well, perhaps you can make some for me someday." I said lightly. Did I really mean that I wanted to see him again? I was shocked at the meaning of the statement.

_You know the third act_

_Small talk drops out of the play_

He was silent. "Perhaps you'll enjoy it."

_And you're standing in the lobby_

_Tightening your tourniquet_

He was silent, and I was ready to kick him out of my house. I was waiting for his answer. I'd never talk to him again.

_Waiting for it_

_Waiting for it_

"If you insist, Mademoiselle."


	2. Here For Now

Chapter 2:

I noticed he was wearing dress clothes only when I spilled flour on him. I had never been one for keeping it tidy while I cooked. After all, with cooking you could always clean afterwards. I felt my jaw drop as his eyes grew in anger.

"I'm so sorry…" I said, but I couldn't stop my laugher in gaps at the look I pictured on his face. He seemed shocked, but at my laugher he relax and I even thought that I heard a small chuckle come from his throat.

I went toward him with a wet washcloth, though he jumped as the cloth contacted with his dark suit.

I laughed again, and without my breath I managed to lean on the counter, trying to stay on two feet. Erik was laugh as well. I stood and tried to retain my balance. It didn't work, and I fell over into Erik and knocked us both over.

_I bet you're wondering if you woke today_

_Just to learn why the caged bird sings_

It had been at least two and a half hours since we started making the brownies. I never expected that it would be practically suicide to try and bake those things. The first batch hadn't tasted like brownies at all, and I had to apologize twenty times for ruining his first taste at such a treat. I knew he would never think of brownies the same again. I knew I wouldn't.

We were lying on the ground, and Erik was trying to hold in his small chuckles. I didn't bother. My obnoxious giggle fit was widespread, but I knew it was all right. I felt sorry for the man I'd eventually marry. After all, dealing with this. They would have to really have a strong backbone.

_I bet you're wondering if the goddesses_

Are all crazy 

_Or just keeping it interesting_

After a few minutes, I tried to calm my giggles. I sat up slowly. "I'm sorry." I managed to mumble between deep breaths.

Erik sat up just as slowly, and he started at me, never losing the uncomfortable feeling he spread around the room. Throughout the laughing it was gone, though. Perhaps he couldn't hold onto it while that went on.

"I was never very good at cooking." I laughed. "Sorry about your first batch of brownies."

"For the sixth time," Erik said coolly, "It's alright. Besides, I told you. I was never one that ate food because I enjoyed it."

"Well that's no fun." I answered, getting to my feet.

Star rounded the corner and began licking spilt sugar on the floor. I chewed on my bottom lip while looked at her skeptically.

"You have such a sweet tooth." I told the cat, scooping her in my hands. She squirmed and tried to get back to the sugar. I wouldn't let her and I put her in the next room. She gave me the sad eyes and licked her paw at me, as if to try and persuade me. I laughed. "Has that ever worked dear?" She scoffed and walked away from me. She was smarter than trying to persuade me to her wishes.

_Situated slightly outside society_

_At odds with its odd offerings_

When I walked back into the kitchen Erik was handling the tray of brownies from straight out of the oven. He put it down on the stove without even a wince. I walked over to him. He looked at me and seemed to smile slightly at the smell of the brownies. I chose to ignore the pain that his hand must be feeling. After all, it was his bright idea to take it from the oven without anything to handle the pan.

I inhaled the smell from the pan. A smile lit up my face.

"Finally! It smells like brownies!" I sighed a big sigh of relief.

He tried to pick up a piece but I slapped his hand away. "You need to let it cool first!" He sighed.

"You were the one that wanted me to eat it, Mademoiselle."

"Claire." I corrected him, and he looked at me with surprise.

"We don't know each other well enough." He protested.

"You're in my home with me." I stated firmly. "It's fine if you call me Claire."

He nodded slowly, as if he did accept it. Still, the logic couldn't be undone.

I walked over to the windowsill and I sat down on the ledge. The sun was still out, but it seemed as if the sun would sink beneath the city in about half an hour.

"What do you do, Erik?" I asked, looking at him as he stood awkwardly in the center of the floor. I pushed the wooden chair out with my toes and gestured for him to sit down. He did so slowly, looking like I would trap him.

"I'm an architect… and a musician." He stated, obviously not wanting to get into his life with me. I wondered about this. Perhaps he was hiding something.

"Ah, really?" I said, my own eyes lighting up. "A composer?"

"Yes."

"Yeah," I said with a small smirk, "You look weird enough to be one."

_I bet you're teetering on the edge of sobriety_

_Just to alleviate a few things_

"Excuse me?" He stiffened at my response and looked at me with anger. "And I suppose you have some better career?" His eyes radiated fury.

"Excuse me! You're my guest." I said, the same fury covering my own eyes. "And I'm a musician too." I stated, pulling my legs up around me to act as a second skin… maybe a cage of some sort. "But I only sing, dance, and act."

Curiosity filled his eyes. "You're a singer? Perhaps you'd like to sing something for me."

I laughed at him and pulled my legs closer. The hair on my legs got caught in my jeans and I had to stop myself from wincing.

"Maybe after I see you a couple more times." I said, again shocked with what I said.

"You wish to see me again?" He sounded completely knocked away by this comment. I shrugged. Why not? I hadn't been out of the apartment in at least a year with someone else. Why not send myself out on the balance beam again?

_Like the fear that you're standing here_

_Because you want to be liked_

"Why don't we do something tomorrow?" I offered, waiting for my offer to be refused.

I'd been seen with worse than someone who walked around in a mask. I looked out the glass awaiting the answer. I didn't want to see what he had to say. I could manage hearing it. How low does it go, Claire? Do you get rejected by a man that may belong in a mental institution?

_Like you know you need your instrument_

_But does your instrument need to be mic'd_

"What do you have in mind, Mada- Claire?" He asked, and I felt his eyes scanning over me for some sort of trick. Why did he think I was out to get him?

"Maybe just dinner- as friends?" I suggested, biting my tongue after I said anything. Perhaps I could swallow my tongue and I wouldn't say anything.

"You'd want to be seen… with me?" It sounded as if he was processing something.

"Hey if you don't want to…" I started, but his eyes staring at me stopped my words from leaving my throat. His eyes were shining in the darkness, and I briefly wondered why.

"It would be my pleasure." He answered, and I could swear it sounded as if a smile were tugging at his lips.

I smiled myself. I smelled the air. "Brownies are ready." I said, jumping off of the counter. I took a knife to the brown slab. I pulled out the first piece and gave it to Erik. "Tell me if it's alright." I strangled out, closing my eyes as he turned around. He removed the mask facing away from me and then replaced it. I wondered why he did this but before I could ask he was turning back to me. "Well?" I asked as he turned, shutting my eyes tight once again. I opened one and stared at him.

He seemed to smile. "It's wonderful." He seemed delighted.

"Even if it is food?" I teased, and I heard him laugh uncomfortably.

The sun had faded behind the city and lights from the city replaced that light.

"So are you looking for work here?" I asked, looking out at those lights.

He was silent for a moment, considering the question and all possible answers.

_And you keep imagining that pretty soon_

_You will just disappear_

"I guess so." He said, more to himself than to me. Star came around the corner again and tried to get at the sugar. I gave her a small look but she ignored it and her dark tongue came in and out of her mouth as she licked the floor where the sugar was spilled. I stood and walked to the counter. My fingers turned the hot water on and I began the task of rinsing out the sink to wash the dishes. Once it was rinsed out I plugged the drain up. The water formed a pool at the bottom with a waterfall pouring into it. The water level rose and I watched it as I gathered the dirty dishes.

I felt Erik's eyes on my back. I plunged the first dirty dish into the hot water and winced as it burned my skin. I didn't remove my hands, but began scrubbing off the dough from the brownies. He was behind me, although he hadn't moved. I knew he hadn't moved. I would have heard him come from that squeaky chair. But there he was.

His hands snaked around my right side. He would go for my neck!

He didn't. He took the dishes from her hands and moved so he could wash them himself. I felt myself smile at his kindness, but I paused for a while to see if I wasn't imagining it. My smile grew appreciative when I realized that this was really happening. I scooted out of his way and began cleaning the floors.

I got on my hands and my knees and began scrubbing the floor. We didn't need to speak. I was happy that I met him at that moment. I even imagined what could happen. I pushed the thoughts away I imagined the tile floor being a canvas I could uncover. I was scraping the floor, and my picture was sprouting to life. I pictured one more thing, and I realized I would have to paint this new image.

_And thinking that one thing is what saves you from_

_Your fear of being here_

_Here for now, you're here for now, you're here for now_

The whole floor was my chalkboard, and I intended to make little drawings like children did on the sidewalk. And my drawing would have graffiti on it. And I would know, this drawing was completely mine. This painting alone held all my secrets and I was ready to die for these single secrets.

A piano was playing in the background and I felt myself stand on shaky legs. The audience was surrounding me on three sides and I remembered the kind of theater from studying Shakespeare in English class. The music is steady and I say the words and notes within my head a beat before they come out of my mouth.

It was easy and my eyes were closed on stage. I was a mouse and I knew I had found the cheese. I was the only mouse that could do it, and I did. The vowels dropped out of my relaxed jaw and the air pushed out past my relaxed tongue.

_I bet you're looking for the little red X_

_Next to the red arrow and the sign says 'you are here'_

The water flowed around and around and emptied into the drain. I felt it go and I knew how out of it I looked. I shook myself out of it.

"Thank you, Erik." I said, standing to smooth out my clothes. "I appreciate your help."

I didn't answer me and for a moment I thought he had left. His next words made me a little sad. "I should leave."

I nodded. "Yes, I have work in the morning." I said, biting on my lower lip. I was a waitress a half a mile away and I actually had a shift during the day.

"Should I come back here tomorrow?" He asked uncomfortably.

"Oh, yes." I said absent-mindedly. I thought for a moment. "I get off around three. Could you come back around six thirty?"

"I'll see you then, Claire." He said, and I knew he was smiling. I lead him to the door and smile at him as he walks out. I close the door behind him and lock it.

_I bet you're hoping that your heart will send up the white flag this time_

_Or some sign that the coast is clear_

_And the moment when your heart jumps in all that's happening_

I walk back into the kitchen and I begin to put the now clean dishes away. I notice how perfect they are. Usually when I wash the dishes I miss something somewhere. I generally don't mind if I don't get sick. If I do, I'll clean them properly for maybe a week before it takes too long and I return to my own ways. I inspect them and smile. This Erik was a perfectionist. I sort of liked him, in his odd ways. He seemed like he would be a good friend… if he didn't kill me.

I stacked the smaller plates in the larger ones and stored them away. I pushed the flour behind old cereal. Star comes into the kitchen and is disappointed to find that the sugar is gone from the floor.

"Sorry Star." I smile softly at my companion. "It was part of my painting."

I continue with the dishes until the phone rings.

_It's like the first time you felt that shock_

_Yes, your heart jumps in all that's happening_

_And I was right behind the door when you knocked_

I walked over to the wall and pulled the receiver off the wall. The cord immediately wrapped around my legs. I pick up the receiver to hear yelling behind what they believed to be what I could hear. It was mom.

"Mom?" I asked into the receiver. Mother and her husband always yelled at each other. It was the way they showed affection for one another, and I guess I could understand that.

"Oh, honey." I could hear the smile in her voice. She sounded much happier than when she was with dad. I smiled at her joy. "I've been trying to call you for weeks."

I smiled. She always said that. The reality was that she only called every six months. It was her way. She would either miss me or need something. She sounded like she missed me though. She was never this happy when she needed something. I liked when she missed me. It meant that our fourteen years together meant something. I had left when I was seventeen, and the other half the time I was alone or at dad's house.

_Thinking maybe I'm just standing here_

_Because I want to be liked_

"How's it been, mom?" I asked, smiling that crooked smile that I always seemed to have. I played with the cord in between my toes.

"Oh… you know. As it always is." She laughs and I smile. She used to laugh all the time when we were all kids. "What about you? Did you get that lead?"

I sighed. I'm glad she remembered.

"No. Laura got it." I smiled. "I'm in the chorus."

"You'll do it someday, honey." Her voice was supposed to give me comfort. That pain was deep though. This lead had meant my younger days to me. It seems silly, but I felt that this meant that I could finally do something. "Stop being afraid of them."

"I know, ma." I said, clutching the phone between my shoulder and my ear. I sat in the squeaky chair Erik had sat in and it gave a loud objection to my weight. "I really… I do try. Maybe I wasn't meant for this."

There was more yelling in the background and mother shouted back, the voice was ringing in my head and I shut my eyes to block out the pain that came to my eardrums.

_Yes, I know I need my instrument_

_But does my instrument need to be mic'd_

They had been married for ten years. I was in the maid of honor, being the oldest daughter. My mother was pregnant with her last daughter at that time. She had married my father when she was very young, already pregnant with me. My sisters and I had cried the entire time. I never talked to my sisters anymore…

"Dear," her voice comes back into the phone. "I have to go, your younger sister is refusing to come home. I'll call you soon. I love you." The phone made a click in my ear, and I held it for a few moments. Sally was always causing trouble. But she was eleven, and she was old for her age. Maybe it came from having a sister who was almost thirty. I sighed and hung up the phone on the wall.

"Bye mom." My eyes felt tired, but I couldn't sleep. I would paint.

_I keep imagining that pretty soon_

_I will just disappear_

The paint was being difficult in mixing, but after half an hour I got the right colors I wanted. I painted the scene I had seen on the kitchen floor. The colors swirled, and the graffiti covered the sides of the walls of the painting. The middle was lacking something, but I didn't want any letters or drawings there. It would be something special to go inside this painting… my last canvas.

_And thinking that one thing is what saves me_

_From my fear of being here_

When I finish all that I'm willing to work on I put the canvas in front of the light that will come up in the morning. I crawl to my radio and catch the end of an Ani DiFranco song. I listen to it as I fall asleep.

_Here for now, I'm here for now, I'm here for now_

_Here for now, I'm here for now, I'm here for now_


	3. Both Hands

Chapter 3:

The sun was shining when I woke up and I gave at least two minutes to stretching out on the rough fabric of the couch. A light blue blanket lay halfway on me and halfway on the floor. My back felt weird and I tried to stretch while lying on the couch. It didn't work, so I stood up and got the kinks out that way. It took me another full minute to realize that the sun was shining on me. Only then did it click in my head that I was suppose to be in work. I looked at the clock. At the rate I was going at I would be late by at least ten minutes. I ran around, brushed my hair, washed my teeth, and washed my face. I quickly changed at ran out the door. I decided that it took fifteen minutes to walk to work if I hurried. Maybe if I jogged. While I went at a quick pace I zipped up my jacket and I put my hair up.

The snow crunched beneath my small shoes. They would be soaked by the time I got to work, but at that moment I wasn't even considering turning around to go get boots.

I am not very tall. Maybe around 5'3. My hair is curly, but not unmanageable. I felt the black curls bounced out of the loose bun I put it into. My black coat made of soft material fell open because I only got it for twenty bucks. I struggled to get it zipped back up and finally decided to give up on it.

_I am walking_

_Out in the rain_

My jacket blows opened in the wind and it begins to snow. I shiver. I am only wearing my waiting outfit underneath- black pants and a red and green short-sleeved shirt.

I make good time and I'm only late by ten minutes. It's busy, and my boss yells at me as I come in the door. I've learned to ignore it. I say I'm sorry and I hurry to help out. It's incredibly busy throughout the first half of my shift. When it finally cools down I can take a small breather. I've been holding plates and pens for four hours and my fingers begin to hurt. I can't wait until I graduate to get out of this place and onto a stage…

_And I am listening to the low moan_

_Of the dial tone again_

"I'm sorry sir." I say, trying to sound as pathetic as I can. "Your reservation must have been moved. I'm so sorry about all this. If you'd like, I could get you guys a table in a few minutes."

He yells at me, arguing that I should do something. I'm very annoyed, and I want to tell him to go clear his own table if he was so anxious. Instead I hold my tongue and repeat the same thing in different words.

Once he's gone my manager yells at me. Go figure. All I did was try to help the guy who didn't have a reservation.

_And I am getting _

_Nowhere with you_

My lunch break is cut short by a crowd of people who come squawking into the restaurant like hungry birds. I had to pack up my sandwich for later. I smile when I think about the evening. While I'm taking orders I briefly wonder where to take him. It would probably be someplace very cheap with my income. I write the wrong thing down on the slip of paper and I apologize and ask for them to repeat it.

I leave as soon as I am able and I don't wait for someone to ask me to stay.

The weather is better than when I went into work and I don't have to button up my coat.

My hair is falling out and I desperately try to fix it.

The snow under my feet is beginning to melt when I reach my red brick building. It's three thirty when I walk in the door. I apologize to Star for not having to time to feed her this morning and I put a big heaping pile of tuna in her bowl. I rub behind her ears gently and her large eyes find mine and it almost seems like she smiles at me. I give her a small smile and she rubs her body against my leg as I lean down to scrap the container clean of the fish.

"I just had a bad day, that's all." I tell her in a quiet voice. "But hopefully it will get better." I smile once again. "What do you think I should wear to dinner?"

The cat ignores me and I laugh at my outrageous question. After all, why would a cat care?

I felt sweaty and went to take a shower. Only three hours until Erik would arrive. The water went gently around me and I let it wash all over my hair. It gave me a moment to just let the world flow by without me. My black hair falls down straight across my body. It's never this straight.

The radio pours into the bathroom, and I have it loud enough for the neighbors to complain. It's something from Les Miserables. My friends always call it Les Mis. I hear myself sing out loud to the music. I smile- my voice is getting much better. College has begun to make me into something.

I remember being a skinny little girl with wide eyes on the first stage I had ever set foot on. My throat wouldn't even let my voice come through and be heard. It was so tight because of my nervousness. I was so afraid that the people wouldn't like me that I ran off stage.

But that was a long, long time ago. I had managed to gain a little bit of courage on the stage. I had never managed to try out for a lead, but I'd been close. I somehow convinced myself that I would never make a lead, but even so I kept some hope in my heart. I had always told myself that someday I would work up that courage to a level. I just hadn't managed it. So I would stay the chorus until I needed to grow.

_And I can't let it go_

_And I can't get through…_

Les Mis switches to RENT, and I hear Angel's voice singing to Collins. I smile- I think it is the sweetest song. And then it's Mimi and Roger. They are my favorite in the musical. I sing along as I rub the white towel through my hair. The towel is warm, and as it goes through my hair I can't help thinking that my scalp is the most sensitive spot on my body. Well… the sensitive spot that makes me realize how wonderful life is. It's hard to explain. It made me feel the realness of everything. It showed me the joys of the unimagined, if that makes sense.

Star seemed to tilt her head at me as I ran around the apartment in a robe and a towel. It was four fifteen when I bothered to look at the clock.

I had a small snack consisting of the 100 Calorie Packs of cookies and an orange. Star shook her head at my choice in attire- my robe. The orange juice hit me in the eye as I tried to open it and I swore at it. Star turned around and walked into the other room. I laughed at her reaction and finished my orange and cookies.

After wrestling with my curling iron, I managed to make my black curls look presentable. It fell a little below my shoulders. I stood in front of my mirror looking over myself. I smiled happily, and turned around to examine all angles. I made a bright contrast compared to the wintry season. I wore a flowery dress with sleeves that fell down to my thumbs. The cut went to right above my knee and it was V-shaped around my chest. The design was blue and green flowers on a white background. It made my hair contrast to my bright clothing and my bright eyes. As I moved the dress flowed around my legs. As I looked in the mirror I realized that I actually did have nice legs- or the dress simply made them look nice.

I folded myself on the bed/couch with a good book and waited for Erik to arrive. However, I couldn't seem to concentrate on my book, though I turned the pages frequently. The words rolled over my eyes but my mind didn't pick up on what my eyes continued to do. I was thinking about the risk I was about to take.

I hadn't been with a man in at least two years. It was in high school that my heart was broken. I had never been able to pick up the pieces. I was frightened by even the possibility that I could end up with someone like this strange man who seemed so uncomfortable around people. Then again, it wouldn't be bad, would it?

I shook my head and put the book opened in my lap for a moment. This was not a date- it was two people becoming friends.

_The old woman behind the pink curtains_

_And the closed door_

_On the first floor_

I began reading again and had no idea what the main character was talking about. I moved back a few pages and finally figured out what was going on.

Fifteen minutes went by and then there was a knock on the door. I marked my spot and answered the door. I had a smile as I opened the door which became more confused that anything else.

In my doorway stood Erik. He looked like he had slept in the cold and he look disgruntled.

I couldn't keep my jaw from dropping opened.

"Are you alright?" I asked suspiciously.

He sighed. "Yes." He answered, looking at me as if he had no idea why I was asking.

"You look like you slept in the alley!" I exclaimed as I opened the door wide enough to let him in.

"I did, Mademoiselle." He said simply, stepping in cautiously.

"Claire." I corrected him. His eyes just flickered to me for a moment with impatience. I took a deep breath. "Don't you have an apartment or hotel room somewhere?"

"That would require money." He stated simply. I looked at him with a shocked expression covering my face.

"Why are you in New York?" I said, looking at him oddly. After all, who would come to New York like that?

He paused and seemed to think about it for a second. "I've come looking for work."

"But you don't even have a place to stay!" I exclaimed. How could he get a job looking like he came off the streets?

He nodded but stayed silent. He looked more uncomfortable. I sighed in frustration. "It looks like I'm paying." I went to go find my purse. I spent a good few minutes looking around for it. When I finally did find it I stood in the middle of the living room looking to see if I had enough money. I stopped when I noticed Erik looking at.

"What?" I asked, looking at him in annoyance.

"You look lovely." He stated, and seemed even more uncomfortable after he had said it. He distracted himself by glancing around my house. I felt a blush go to my cheeks and I smiled a little. In that second I felt my money. Well- I would have to be cheep today. That was all right; Erik seems the type of person who would look at a hotdog from a hotdog stand in amazement.

_She's listening through the airshaft_

_To see how long our swan song can last_

"Haha…" I grabbed the twenty bucks from my purse.

"What?" He asked, looking directly at me curiously.

I smiled. "Are you ready?"

He nodded solemnly and I sighed. "You really need to find a job." I said light-heartedly. I yelled good-bye to Star and held the door opened for Erik. I grabbed my black coat and wrapped it around myself. We left the red brick building and walked up the street in the opposite direction of work. Everything by wear I worked was more expensive than it should have been.

The snow had stopped fallen and was replaced by a calm serene feeling. It was a little cold and I regretted not wearing stockings. I held my arms around myself in an attempt to stay warm. Erik walked next to me and didn't seem at all bothered by the chill that was freezing my bones.

"Are men always warm?" I asked him, looking both ways before we crossed a street in front of many cars and yellow taxis that seemed like ants stuck together by a spider web.

He looked at me startled. Well- that was what I got out of his body language.

"I don't intend to go around touching men." He stated, looking at me as if I were crazy. I let a laugh bellow from my diaphragm.

_And both hands_

_Now use both hands_

_Oh, no don't close your eyes_

We reached a small pizza shop and I looked at it, trying to keep the wind from blowing the hair into my face. It was getting dark and the lights went on. "How does this look?" I asked. He didn't answer, and I sighed. I opened the door. "Well, I know it's not exactly _Pierre's_ or anything, but a twenty isn't going to get us into many places!" I said to him quietly. He shrugged and walked in, as if he were colder than the cold outside.

I ordered two slices of pizza and we ate it there. I learned that it was his first piece of pizza _ever_! I laughed at him for that and told him he had lived a sheltered live. He didn't much care for the pizza and I told him he had odd tastes.

_I am writing Graffiti on your body_

_I am drawing the story_

_Of how hard we tried_

We sat in the pizza shop long after we had finished, simply talking. I gave him a few suggestions on where to look for work. I asked him if he had gone to school. He gave me the answer that he had studied under geniuses. I gave him and odd look and nodded with a small smile. I agreed with myself that it was just easier to agree.

_I am watching your chest rise and fall_

_Like the tides of my life,_

_And the rest of it all_

I got the impression that he smiled a few times, and this made me smile a bit more. I had already learned that this man didn't smile often. He often looked at me in the eye while I talked to him. I liked that because it was so unusual.

We discussed books, and he didn't seem to know any newer ones that I enjoyed. Still, some of the best books in literature he had never heard of! Yet, he had an amazing collection built up in his head and he explained a few of the stories to me. I also told him of a few, especially a recent one I had read- Memoirs of a Geisha. I had just finished the story a few weeks earlier in my free time. It had drawn me in completely and reading it only took two days. Luckily, I didn't have to work and I stayed up all night when I finished it.

_And your bones have been my bed frame_

_And your flesh has been my pillow_

The girl working there finally kicked us out and I learned that it was almost eleven. I laughed and exclaimed that the day went by quicker than I expected.

Erik walks me back to my house, and I have a decision rolling around in my head. The cold flickers on in off between more buildings, but the wind is full force in the night sky most of the time we walk. Still, I don't feel as cold as I did and I'm ahead of Erik as we walk, raising my hands around myself in joy and dancing in the crisp night air. I can hear Erik's smile when he speaks.

"I can't believe the buildings are so large!" He exclaims, and I think that was the first time he seemed excited.

I stop in mid-step and turn to look at him. I can feel my mouth hurt from smiling. "I've never seen a man so excited about a giant hunk of metal." I say, tilting my head as I look at him. He slows down his step but doesn't stop to wait for me. I struggle to catch up.

"It's refreshing." I say from behind his shoulder. "Perhaps you should go for architecture."

His eyes show his feels to me. "Do you think they would hire me?" He seems hopeful.

"Maybe if you straighten yourself up!" I exclaim, and I walk ahead.

_I am waiting for sleep_

_To offer up the deep_

_With both hands_

We reach the red brick building and I don't struggle with my door. For once it doesn't get stuck and there's no noise when I open it. I only just seem to realize that.

Star is staring at me when we come in, and I know she's expecting to be fed or petted. She surprises me and walks over to Erik gracefully. She begs to be picked up and he gives in to her.

"Go ahead and sit down." I say, waving to the couch. "Do you want wine?" I asked while traveling across the tiles of my kitchen.

I don't hear an answer but I take two glasses anyway. The wine I had was a gift from my father. He was always anxious to get me a little drunk. He would always tell me I was too tense and that I needed to loosen up. The brand was actually pretty good- I wouldn't expect it from him at all.

_In eachother's shadows we grew less and less tall_

_And eventually our theories couldn't explain it all_

I brought the wine back, but Erik didn't touch it. I sat on the couch next to him and leaned back.

"So," I questioned, taking a sip from my glass. Erik's is on the table in front of us. "What are you planning to do?"

His long fingers are stroking behind Star's ears and she doesn't look like she'll move anytime soon. "I suppose tomorrow I'll look for a job." He said softly. I realize that he has a wonderful speaking voice. I want to hear him sing suddenly.

"Are you planning to sleep on the streets again?" I asked, not sure exactly what I'm doing.

"I suppose." He answers, not seeming to mind so much.

_And I'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall_

_And eventually the landlord will come_

_And paint over it all_

"If you want," I offer, "You can stay here until you get on your feet."

He looks shocked and he stops moving his hand over Star, who seems very disappointed when he stops. "You would let me stay with you?"

"If I wasn't going to, I wouldn't have asked." I say, smiling slightly.

He looked like I'm going to turn him into the police any second.

"I was only offering." I say, looking away to hid my hurt. "You can sleep on the street if you'd like."

_And I am walking_

_Out in the rain_

_And I am listening_

_To the low moan_

_Of the dial tone again_

_And I am getting nowhere with you_

_And I can't let it go and I can't get through_

"Thank you." He says, "For your kindness, Mademoiselle."

I smiled and correct him. "It's Claire."

He smiles back. "Claire."

We sit in silence for a moment.

_So now use both hands_

_Please use both hands_

_Oh, no don't close your eyes_

_I am writing graffiti on your body_

_I am drawing the story of_

_How hard we tried_

I tell Erik that he can sleep on the couch but he insists that I take it. It doesn't matter, I end up curled up in the corner of the couch and I wake up to find Erik sleeping on the opposite side with Star still curled up in his arms. I smile when the morning light hits him and I briefly wonder why he wears the mask. I don't have enough time to ponder. I have school in an hour and a half and I have to walk there. I leave a note on the table.

_Hard we tried_

_How hard we tried_


	4. Dust in the Wind

Chapter 4:

"So, what happened to you Claire?" Kimmy asked, startling me out of my thoughts. I was practically sleeping during class and apparently it was over so I could leave. Kimmy's dark brown eyes were staring at me and her head was tilted.

I stood up slowly, making sure I didn't fall over. "What do you mean?" I asked, picking up all my books and things. She giggled and rolled her eyes. "You were supposed to come over. My friends brought a boy for you to meet. You would have liked him…"

I laughed. "You were going to hook me up with someone?" I almost snorted.

"Yeah." She states matter-of-factly, "And you would have liked him too. I think he's more attracted to you since you didn't come. He likes defiant women."

I felt my expression gain a shocked and wholly amused look. "I don't need someone like that Kim." I say, shaking my head and walk out of the white classroom. She follows.

"I'm just saying- you need to get to know a man in your life."

I feel a heated smile cover my blushing face. "Well… I did meet someone recently."

"Oh?" She looks amused. "So is that why you didn't come over?"

I laugh. "We had dinner."

She stops me by gripping onto my arm. "And?"

I laugh. "And…" I look at her for the answer she's looking for. "And we had a drink?" I pulled awake and began walking again, feeling a smile come over my face.

"You slept with him!" She accused. That time I did snort.

"Why would you think that?" I said, and I felt a blush rising to my cheeks from even thinking about such a thing.

"Yeah." She laughs. "Okay… so what's lover boy's name?"

"He's not my lover boy." I protest. "And his name is Erik."

She gave me a disbelieving look and I couldn't help but sigh.

She was quiet as we passed through the hallways. It was apparent that she had given up. Well, that was what I thought until she looked at me again.

"Well…" She started, and she sounded a little bit more understanding. I knew not to believe that look. "I've got to go. But hey, listen. There's this party next week Friday. You should come…" I smiled.

"Thanks. I'll see about it." I said, and began to walk away.

"You should bring this Erik." She said from behind me. I didn't bother answering her. I was happy to go back to my cold apartment and away from the brimming social atmosphere.

The red brick building was like always- it seemed like it was way too small and not nice enough. Funny thing is, I had no trouble with the door. I must be having a lucky streak.

When I walked into the building, Star walked up to me. She gave me a look as if saying she was mad at me. I laughed.

"Yes, I left you with a man!" I teased her, putting down my books before I picked her up and began scratching her behind the ears. She made a small sound in protest as I picked her up but soon began purring in my hands.

"Where did he go to anyway?" I asked, and began walking around my apartment, looking for him.

"Erik?" I asked, looking in the kitchen. Nowhere.

I knocked on the bathroom door. No answer. I sighed.

I opened the door a gasped at what I saw.

Erik was sitting on the floor, in deep concentration. The toilet cover was on the floor and he was looking inside. I raised my eyes just in time for him to look at the door; completely shocked that someone was in the house. He got up with what seemed like a happy expression.

"This is incredible! Just… look at this!" He stated wildly. "I've never-" the door, which I shut in his face, muffled the rest of his sentence.

I knew my eyes were very large in surprise.

I heard the door open again but I just kept walking and I ended up sitting in the corner where my painting was sitting.

"Have you ever-?" I didn't listen to the rest of the sentence, but just stared ahead at my painting. I wasn't really upset, just a little freaked out. It was very amusing, and I had to cover my mouth with my hand to stifle my laughter. He seemed to be stumped at my behavior and he was standing in silence, waiting for me to finish my laughing fit. It took a few minutes.

"Are you quite finished?" He asked steadily, though an undertone of annoyance was in his voice. I smiled and laughed once more. "For now." I added, and smiled at him softly.

He stood stiffly next to me and I believe he was studying my painting. I was studying it myself at that time when a wave of inspiration hit me.

"You don't mind if I paint some, do you?" I asked softly, my eyes swarming to uncolored portions of the canvas. I felt the brush in my hand, and music in my head. I was spreading the colors around and they were mixing together and I was smiling and I could smell paint- I could feel it on my hands- I could feel the bit in my hair that I always got in. Then I smelled something mixed in the paint that I had never smelled before.

I was painting- and half the canvas was washed over with white. Erik was standing next to me, watching me work. How long had it been? I sniffed the air. It was Erik's smell that was so different.

_I close my eyes_

_Only for a moment and the moment's gone_

I smiled and looked at him. I looked again at my canvas. "So much for using my last piece of canvas right." I sighed and began to pick it up so I could toss it out. Erik's hand stopped my own.

I looked at him quizzingly.

"It's not ruined." He said, his own eyes passing over my painting. "The background can still be seen…" He paused. "And it proves that nothing is as it appears. You shouldn't throw it away."

_All my dreams_

_Pass before my eyes in curiosity_

I felt the canvas and wet paint brush against my fingers as I let it fall back on the eisle. My eyes were captivated on his, the intensity he was staring at the painting. It was an incredible feeling and I held myself still for a moment as his eyes moved, though slightly, as he scanned it. I had an idea.

"Would you like to help me?" I asked gently.

His eyes moved to look at my face with the same look I had had only a little while before.

"How?" He asked quietly, his eyes wide in shock. It was as if no one had ever asked for his help before.

"Do you mind getting paint on you?" I asked, feeling as small smile tug at my lips.

_Dust in the wind…_

_All they are is dust in the wind_

I laughed at Erik's face as his fingertips dipped in the paint. He was so concentrated. It was if a single drip would ruin the painting.

Erik had helped me spread newspapers on the floor and helped me put the oil paints down. They would take a long time to dry- months. I didn't mind, I wanted help in this- I didn't want all the colors to be straight.

My fingers ran through the paint and I put green on the acrylic white. It made an odd color but it was alright. On half the green I put a very light blue, and then a yellow. It looked like a grassy field. I imagined it. I felt through the painting in that world. Erik was there. This was Erik's soul. Beauty- no fun however.

_Same old song_

_Just a drop of water in an endless sea_

I grabbed Erik's hand in my own and he tensed, the look of concentration replaced with anger. I laughed, but he didn't get my amusement. He threw my arm away from him.

_All we do_

_Crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see_

"Excuse me." My voice became dark like his gaze. "You agreed to help… and this is my painting."

"If you didn't want my help all you had to do was say it."

He tried to stand. I pleaded with him, grabbing his hand.

"Erik… This doesn't have to be serious." I sighed.

"Think of music."

I smiled at him. "Exactly."

I didn't bother to tell him that this painting was what I heard him through my mind's ear. It didn't matter that it wasn't music. It mattered that we thought of it that way. Two hours later, we were both covered in paint that would never wash out.

_Dust in the wind_

_All we are is dust the wind_

I switched on the radio and Erik flinched. He was examining it carefully as a good song came on. Josh Groban's voice was heard throughout the whole apartment. He was singing with Charlotte Church in "The Prayer".

I had to sing a little, though it was very soft. At first I didn't even realize it.

"… and watch us where we go…. And help us to be wise in time when we don't know… Let this be our prayer… as we go our ways…. Lead us to a place. Guide us with your grace to a place where we'll be safe."

Josh Groban's voice drifted behind hers. I closed my eyes. I was no longer in the room.

_Don't hang on_

_Nothing last forever but the earth and sky_

"…Guide us with your grace… Give us faith so we'll be safe…"

_It slips away_

_And all your money won't a minute buy_

"We hope each soul will find… another soul to love…"

_Dust in the wind_

_All we are is dust in the wind_

It switched to the next song and I knew it immediately. It was Sarah Brightman.

I kept singing. My mother had said my voice sounded like hers in a way…

"If you can depend on certainty… Count it out and weigh it up again…

You can be sure…. You've reached the end…. And still you don't feel.

Do you know you're beautiful…? Do you know you're beautiful…? Do you know you're beautiful…? You are… you are, yes you are…"

I opened my eyes and I noticed that Erik was staring at me. It was funny look, and even though I couldn't see his face I could guess.

I though absently that if he were my friend he should show me his face. I sighed. That would work. That was even annoying thinking about it.

"What?" I asked pleasantly. I was laying on my couch/bed. I stretched and felt myself fall farther into its creamy colors.

"Your voice…"

I closed my eyes again.

"… It's…"

He never finished his sentence. Or at least I didn't hear it. I was so tired… but I don't think he said anything. I felt the couch sink in at the other cushion and I curled up myself. I yawned. There was no noise. Just to say something, I did. "I'm sorry that there's not a lot of space." I heard a breath and realized I wasn't completely out yet.

"No Mademoiselle." I chose to ignore the word… I was so tired. "You have done more than enough already."

_Dust in the wind_

I sighed. "I have rehearsal tomorrow morning." I said, and I curled my arms underneath me.

"For what?" I barely heard him.

"I'm in a show." I sighed. "I'll be gone before seven…"

"Do you have a lead?" He asked, excited.

"No…" I breathed out. I was fading and I knew it. "Lauren got the lead again. She's friends with the conductor… though I think she isn't just a "Friend"." I gasped after a minute, realizing what I had said. "I didn't mean that." My eyes were still closed. I didn't have the strength to open them.

_Everything is dust in the wind_


	5. What you Never Know

Chapter 5:

When I woke up, it was completely black out. I looked at the clock and realized that I had at least three more hours to sleep. I still felt exhausted, but I just couldn't remain comfortable anymore. I roll over and push my face into the couch. It seems too abstract and I realize that I'm in that state where you really don't feel like yourself. It's like you're someone else who is looking in on your former self.

My mind drifts. I was sure I'd had a dream about Ron. I closed my eyes and exhaled sharply. He was the last person I wanted to think about. Ever.

We had dated for a few years in high school. Everyone was sure we'd get married. I was sure. Finally I popped the question. That was a wonderful day. I block it out finally. What's the use in remembering such a thing?

_What you never know won't hurt you_

_What you never know won't lie_

Star crawls over to me and I wrap my arms around her. "How did you know I needed some love company?" I smiled and kiss her head.

She looks up at me questioningly, but soon gets comfortable in my arms. I can feel her breathing expanding her chest cavity. I still need to move. I stay in the position for the sake of her comfort. It would be mean to make her move when she just got settled in.

I look over and notice that Erik is not on the couch. The jealous part of me thinks that was the reason Star came over to me. "Should we go find him?" I asked after a few minutes. In response, she snuggles closer to me. My eyes close sleepily. "I thought not."

Another ten minutes. "Where do you suppose that wretched man is?" I say, with my eyes closed.

"I'm right here, mademoiselle." I here his voice at the door, "And I resent that."

"It's complete truth." I don't open my eyes anymore but I felt the couch sink in. "Why are you up?"

"I don't sleep many hours of the night." He says, and I feel a little bit better. "Besides, you seemed to be in a troubled sleep."

"Maybe a little." I say, and I finally open my eyes when Star jumps out from under me. She walks into the kitchen. I sigh and blow some of my hair away from my face. "No wonder she sleeps all day." I say, more to myself. I know I'm just talking and talking and talking but I feel like if I don't, no one else is going to. That would be a scary world- complete silence.

The phone rings and I groan loudly. Erik jumps about ten feet. "What is that?" He asks, looking almost terrified.

"Some very rude person." I'm yelling at the phone while I'm getting up to answer it. Smooth.

"What?" I snap into the phone.

I slam the phone down. I glare at it. "Figures."

Erik is staring at the phone in wonder. I begin walking around in circles just for something to do.

_What you never know won't desert you_

_What you never know won't say goodbye_

"Are you alright?" I hear Erik ask. The truth is, I'm not. I haven't thought about Ron successfully for the past two years. Why all of a sudden? Oh wait. Correction. I haven't dreamt about Ron in two years.

I sigh and sink down into the chair by the phone. "I hardly know." I say, and I let my head rest against the doorframe.

He comes closer, resting on the other side of the doorframe. He is silent, but his manner tells me to continue.

"Have you ever wanted to forget something but couldn't?" I asked, not even bothering to look at him. He doesn't need to answer for my to know what he's saying. Many times. "Well that's the problem."

I look at him and he's staring at me halfway curiously and halfway seriously. I know I don't want to complain to a practical stranger, however.

"Claire." He starts, a little shaky. I find his eyes.

"Yeah?"

_What you never know_

_What you never, never, never know_

_What you never know_

He took a breath and held it for a moment. Then he let it go, with whatever he was going to say. "Would you mind if I came to your rehearsal?" He asked, and then looked at the floor. "I promise no one will see me."

I would have laughed at the prospect of him needing to hide from everyone, but something about the way he said it made me simply nod. I got the notion that it meant a lot to him.

"STOP!" The conductor cried, shoving his fists into his sides. He glares at everyone on stage. I'm standing in the back, frozen in place by his outburst. I was in the middle of dancing and I was about to fall over. I put my foot down, which in return I get a fierce look.

Lauren gives a little pout and he smiles at her. "That was lovely, darling." He says and then his face scrunches up again. "The rest of you need to step it up a few notches. You- that was absolutely horrible." The rest I got as a blah-blah-blah. I catch a bit of shine from the back of the audience and I know its Erik. From what I see of his eyes, he looks a little peeved. The conductor points at me and I hear him yelling. He's accusing me of things that I did, that apparently I didn't do… like cross the stage. This guy is so annoying.

I look back and Erik is now standing. I plead a little with my eyes so the conductor doesn't notice. Erik sits down. He's started criticizing someone else and I feel sorry for that person.

End of rehearsal and that blonde haired brat Lauren walks over to me and bends low to talk to me. "Your dancing wasn't that terrible." She says, and gives me a devilish smile. "I suppose it was just your fat that makes it seem like you're doing something wrong." She stands up and walks away. I look down at my body. Yeah, so I'm not Miss Model- that doesn't make me fat. I stand up, fuming. Still, I know better than to say anything. I had already been down that road too many times. I had gotten kicked out of a few shows for such things. It had always been Lauren who was my rival. And what was worse- she was gorgeous. She had everybody twisted around her finger.

I storm out of the theater. No need to use the stage entrances yet. I know Kimmy is trying to get through to me but she feels too bad leaving her other friends behind. She says she'll see me later.

I'm trying to get my blue car to work again. I'm royally pissed off but soon I get the key to unlock the door. Erik is silently standing next to me. I slam the door behind me and stare at him, waiting for him to get in. He fumbles with the door for a minute but then figures it out. Smart cookie.

I start the engine. He shuts the door carefully, as if it will break. Then again, my display shows that it won't.

I pull away and Erik tenses up from the sudden jolt. The radio blasts Goo Goo Dolls.

When we get to the parking lot I shut off the car.

"Did you go for a job interview?" I asked, trying to cool down a bit.

"Oui." He sounded excited. "Ils ont dit que j'ai eu une chance très bonne. Je pense qu'ils ont été impressionnés par les sketchs que j'ai dessinés pour eux."

He stopped and shook his head slightly. "They said that I had a-"

"Je suis très heureux. Mais comment vous contacteront-ils?" I smiled at him a little.

"I gave them your phone number." He said, and gave me a similar smile. Before I have a chance to respond, he continues. "And about what Lauren said, I think you're much prettier than she is."

And he opened the door. And he stepped out and closed the door with perfect ease. I'm left in the dust, staring at him walk toward the building.

I get out and stare after him. He turns and looks at me. I smile, and he smiles back. I can tell because he is wearing a different mask. And I realize that I'm looking at the skin on his face. It's half of his face. My breath catches in my throat. From what I see, he's gorgeous. I can't figure out why he would hide a face like that. He walks into the building.

I catch him while he's walking up the stairs. Step after step, flight after flight. The concrete begins to look the same. "Erik!" I say when I get within reaching distance. He stops and I grab his jacket coat. We stare intently at each other's faces for a moment. I reach my hand up slowly and touch the skin that's exposed on his face. He flinches, and tries to pull away. I don't know why I followed, but I guess there was something in my eyes that said I wouldn't pull it from his face because he didn't jump again. Still, he was shaking more with each millimeter I moved forward. His skin was cold, but flawless. I think both of our eyes snapped shut after a moment.

His voice came suddenly, pushed out of a throat with no moisture in it. "Claire-"

"Shhh…" Was my answer. I felt the need to kiss him and it almost knocked me off of my feet.

"This- this- isn't-" He stumbled out.

"If I were to kiss you…" I said in a whisper. I didn't finish my sentence.

"Comment pourriez-vous en mesure à?"

I moved closer and I felt our breath mingle in front of our faces.

Suddenly I seemed to regain my senses. I pulled away and turned my head. I was growing red and I knew it. How could I have been so stupid? "I'm sorry." I forced out before I continued up to the apartment. The door squeaked, echoing my embarrassment. I sat on my couch and held my knees up to my chin.

The door shut and Erik came in. "I'm surprised you even came up." Was what I wanted to say. But I didn't. I kept my mouth shut.

He sat down next to me and I felt my heart beat growing faster. It was thumping in my throat. He said something. I didn't hear it. How could I with the thumping in my head? How could he hear what he had said himself?

Next thing I knew he moved a little towards me and then his hands found my cheeks- just enough to get my face out of my knees. His lips brushed against mine softly and I think we were both a little surprised. I was so surprised that my eyes went wide and then suddenly closed in happiness. I was sure that he had never kissed anyone before and I could tell he didn't even know how to kiss anyone.

I kissed him then. I kissed him like I don't think I've ever kissed anyone. He seemed just as startled as I was. My arms slide across his strong shoulders and his hands held us both up on the couch. We fixed that soon. For not kissing anyone before- he was a fast learner. My tongue slid across his bottom lip and I almost burst out laughing at his reaction. He seemed so unsure. I was still surprised that _he_ kissed _me_. His fingers went through my hair and his other hand moved down my back. Out tongues were touching each other now. He was on top of me all of a sudden. His body was pressing mine against the couch. I felt myself falling deeper and deeper and I couldn't remember what it was like to feel the way I felt at that moment. When our lips stopped touching we both smiled at each other. He seemed unsure of how to react so I kissed him once more. All my restraint went down the drain at that point.


End file.
